Half Forgotten Memories
by GoldenSilence
Summary: Chapter 6 is up! :)What if Cloud never came back from that one on one encounter with Sephiroth?Is Cloud dead or alive?The gang assumes the former, but it could be the latter. Sepiroth/Tifa?Vincent/Tifa?Perhaps a bit of both?All up to my deranged mind.
1. Default Chapter

~Half Forgotten Memories~  
By:GoldenSilence  
CH.1-Cloud  
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A/N=This fic could be called an alternate universe fic, I think. I hope you enjoy!This will be quite a long story with several chapters. A bit of mystery, a bit of romance, angst... a bit of well, everything really.  
  
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Wind howled fiercly in the turbulent sky as dense clouds rolled overhead, threatening to send down a hell of a downpour at any moment. You would think the rain was poisonous from the way a variety of umbrellas popped out almost the instant it hit. They may have thought of it as interference, but Tifa, unlike them, welcomed it.  
  
The sky mirrored her own emotions. Emotions that no matter how hard she tried to bury them, kept bobbing back up to the surface like a cork.   
  
An accident they had called it. Something tragic and horrible, sure, but still just an accident. Accidents could be forgotten..so why couldn't she forget?She could remember everything in complete clarity. His hand reaching out and grabbing hers in a surprise grip of comfort when she faultered for just a second before they entered the center of the planet. A thousand little things.   
  
Tifa thought it was ironic that the self described(and not at all) "loner" had died millions of miles away, lost in space after the defeat of Sephiroth, in solitude at last.  
  
She started observing the comers and goers. It took her mind off the event at hand, plus it was intresting to see the varying looks on people's faces. Some looked genuinely mournful, while more than a few were just eyeing the chocolate cake under a tent, provided as refreshment.  
  
Barret had to be by far the one of the crowd who stuck out the most. Her usual "down with it" friend was dressed in a suit obviously borrowed, from the way he had rolled up his sleeves and and had to keep hiking up his pants so they wouldn't touch the ground. Vincent, on the other hand, seemed to blend right in. But then Vincent always had blended better with sadness and pathos then happiness, thought Tifa.  
  
  
Tifa caught his glance and ventured him the tiniest of smiles. He gave her one in return, and their smiles stayed stiffly frozen in place. Once Tifa smiled, she simply didn't have the energy to go back to looking grim and neither, she suspected, did Vincent.  
  
Tifa had been the optimism that kept hope alive. No matter how bad things were, they could always get worse...but she hadn't exactly been her old cheerful, sprightly self lately, which was understandable, but Vincent still missed her happy go lucky old disposition anyway.   
  
Vincent wished she would give him one of her ear to ear smiles and tell him that everything was going to be okay; that things could only get better from here. Tifa had always been the one to comfort and reassure others..funny how the roles had been reversed after Cloud had presumably died.  
  
Vincent was not a man of many words, but the dead look on Tifa's face haunted him. He could almost see himself in her place with that same identical expression years ago when he had learned Lucrecia had died.   
  
"You gonna be alright?"  
  
Ugh. Tifa had lost count of how many people had asked that over the course of the day. She had started off in a calm frame of mind, feeling as if she could get through this whole funeral thing and still maintain her sanity, but after being questioned by everyone from Cat Sith to Yuffie, she felt exactly the opposite. Honestly, what did they expect her to do? Stand on her head while screaming at them that she was slowly going absolutely nuts?  
  
"I'll be alright..eventually." Her voice sounded strange even in Tifa's own ears. After learning that Cloud was lost and most likely dead, it seemed those had been the only words she had repeated over and over; to herself and everyone else.   
  
  
She had loved him , Vincent could see it in her strawberry colored eyes. And because of that, he was more worried about the effect of Cloud's death on her then on anyone else in the gang.  
  
"You've got friends that are worried about you,you know?"  
  
Tifa tried to hide her surprise at Vincent. "You've got friends that are worried about you, you know" had to be the second most popular statement of the day, right up there with "are you alright?", but the way Vincent said it made all the difference in the world.  
He wasn't exactly known for getting all touchy feely, but when he did, at least it was sincere unlike the fake symphathies Tifa had been offered by at least half a dozen people.  
  
"I know" was Tifa's automatic reponse. Vincent gave her a strange look she couldn't quite decipher.  
  
"No, I don't think you really do. You're too focused on your own pain. I was too..when.."  
He put his metal claw on Tifa's shoulder, the cold feeling transferring to her through the layers of fabric that made up her dress. "Excuse me..I.."  
  
Vincent's face was turned away from her, shadowed. The rest of him was as well as Vincent strode off, his figure vanishing among the people who had come to mourn for the loss of Cloud Strife. Tifa bit her lip, thinking on what he had said. He understood how she felt..and why wouldn't he?Vincent must have gone through something similiar when Lucrecia died.   
  
But it couldn't have been the same, the self pitying part of herself argued. At least he knew for sure that his loved one was dead..with Cloud, he could still be alive..or dead. At least he admitted he loved her before she died. Tifa felt a sudden pain in her heart.   
She had always been too cowardly to tell Cloud how she really felt..and now it was too late.  
  
  
Brooding, Tifa felt a light tap on her shoulder and turned around to look into the symphathetic face of Shera.  
  
  
"Tifa?Can I talk to you for a second?"  
  
Tifa nodded and Shera pulled her off to the side to talk.  
  
"Cloud..we found something of his at the cove yesterday, washed up on the shore."   
  
Tifa felt relief wash over her. "Something of his?" She could hardly keep the excitement out of her voice. "Then maybe he's still alive after all!" Then all the guessing; the anguish of not knowing for sure if Cloud was really dead or simply exsisting in the cosmos somewhere, would be over.  
  
Shera put a hand on Tifa's shoulder to calm her down, bringing her back to reality.  
  
"That is..errm..a slight possibility, one that we will look into of course, but still just a slight possibilty. You understand?"  
  
Tifa's face fell in dissapointment. Then even Shera did not think he could be found..that he was still alive. Was she the only one left with hope?  
  
"I understand."  
  
Shera pressed something cold and metal into Tifa's hand. "We found this. Stuck in the bottom of his boot."   
  
Tifa opened her palm to look at the object and felt her heart plummet even more. A ring. An engagement ring. Beautiful, made of silver with a small cluster of pearls in the center.  
  
So he had meant to?Cloud had kept Tifa guessing and unsure. Of course, he could never have loved the same way he had loved Aeris, Tifa knew that..but sometimes, just sometimes  
Tifa dared to think he might have loved her. He had flirted with her once or twice...but Tifa figured that he was just flirting with her to take his mind off the events at hand;the incredibly risky mission they were undergoing and the slim chance of any of them making it out alive. But he had meant to..propose?   
  
No, she said to herself harshly. Stop living in your little dream world-If the ring had ever been for anyone, it would have been for Aeris.   
  
Tifa was about to give it back to Shera when she happened to get look at the little scrawled picture on the side. A small bird spreading it's wings. Just as quickly as her heart had plummeted, it rose again. That bird was the sign the jewelry maker in Mideel used. She knew because when she had been browsing in the shop what seemed ages ago, she had been curious about the little bird carved on the back of a wooden bracelet and had asked the craftsman about it. They hadn't gone to Mideel until after Aeris's spirit became one with the planet, which meant...  
  
Shera summed up Tifa's own thoughts. "I figured that it must have been for you."  
She couldn't keep her voice steady anymore and it wavered. "You poor children." Tifa hardly thought after what had happened that any of them were still children in any way, shape, or form, but she didn't say anything.  
  
Shera gave her a quick hug before she went over to join Cid, who had a somber look ill placed on his usually sarcastic mug . Tifa slipped the ring on her finger. It fit perfectly. With the trinket came all the doubt from when she had first heard Cloud was most likely never coming back. What if he was still out there somewhere?Stuck in between time and space all alone?  
  
Millions of what ifs crowded her mind. What if he had come back?Would they be engaged now? Tifa shook her head. Enough what ifs. Cloud had been gone, lost, dead..whatever you wanted to call it, for two months. She had to put the past behind her. Cloud had been one of her closest friends..possibly something more if he would have let her. She still couldn't accept his death because to do that she would have to turn her back to the small ray of hope that she had desperately clung to. The small chance he might still be alive somewhere.  
  
Tifa slowly slid off Cloud's ring and walked away from the one empty grave, knowing exactly what she had to do. Vincent saw her walking off toward the cliff above the whole mourning ceremony and a slight crease came out on his forehead, the only sign to show he was worried. Vincent wasn't usually the one to worry about people, but for once, he didn't go with the usual and intercepted her path.   
  
"Tifa?Where you going?"  
  
Tifa smiled at him to reassure him, somehow knowing that was what he wanted..even though he showed no need of reassurance on his face.   
  
"I just have to take care of something. I'll be right back. It'll help me..accept what happened."   
  
Vincent looked like he wanted to say something but he didn't, he simply nodded in understanding and stepped to one side. Sometimes you have to let people work things out for themselves. Still, Vinent was worried..  
  
Tifa walked up to the edge of the cliff. The rain had stopped and a sort of silent peace and tranquility hung in the slight breeze, two things Tifa definitely wanted right now.   
  
Before she could change her mind, she took out the ring and threw it as hard as she could. For a split minute, she saw faint glimmer of silver in the air before the ring sailed down and hit the ocean below with a final resolute plop.  
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little,really short I promise A/N=Don't ask about the chocolate cake..just don't ask. I blame it on that time of the month..chocolate just always seems to show up in the stuff I write around then.. 


	2. The Unexpected

~Half Forgotten Memories~  
by:GoldenSilence  
CH. 2-The unexpected  
disclaimer:Woops, forgot this in the first chapter!FF7 and characters belong to squaresoft.  
  
A/N=A big thanks goes out to all you reviewers..you guys made my day!Hope you review again.:)  
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Tifa tried to reason with herself for her seemingly bizzare action. That ring had been her only tie to Cloud; a memento to remind her of what had happened to him. She didn't need a reminder, his dissapearance and his face stubbornly refused to be erased from her memory and her heart.  
  
She told herself she didn't need a tie to Cloud either; a binding through a ring to someone presumed dead. DEAD. Tifa could say that word over and over again silently, but she couldn't get it past her lips without the bile rising to her throat. Still, she knew that was most likely what had happened to Cloud. She just couldn't say it out loud. Saying it out loud gave it a dreaded sense of finality..a sense of closure on something she was having trouble moving on from.  
  
Anyway, the ring was back in the ocean now, back to the place where it had been found orginally by Shera. Maybe, thought Tifa, looking down into the impenatrable aquamarine depths, maybe it would find it's way back into the hands of its' buyer. If Cloud wasn't dead, it could be his beacon, dragging him out of whatever merciless place he was stuck in and back to reality; to her.  
  
Tifa shook her head, disgusted with herself. Even after getting rid of the ring, she still couldn't acknowledge his death. A small glimmer of hope still persisted in believing he was alive somewhere. By throwing the ring Tifa was trying to forget the small chance of just that, erasing any hope she had left.  
  
Forgetting, Tifa decided, was the only way she could really live... because if she accepted what had most likely happened, she would never really live again in the same way.  
  
All because fate held the cards. Fate had decided Cloud's death or life..perhaps even keeping him in some deadly limbo between the two. Damn fate.   
  
"Goodbye, Cloud." Tifa's small whisper drifted into the wind as she turned her back on the storm tossed ocean and slowly walked back to the funeral. A commotion from behind a group of rocks caused Selphie to turn around. Vincent was standing up from behind the barricade of sorts and brushing his suit off. Tifa felt shocked. She wouldn't have put it past any other member of the gang to spy on her like this just to make sure she wasn't going to do anything she'd regret..but Vincent?  
  
"Vincent..were you just spying on me?"  
  
Vincent looked sheepish as if he had heard what Tifa had just been thinking . "I just wanted to make sure.." He trailed off, a common trait of his speech, right up there with talking in the most concise sentences possible.  
  
  
"Make sure what?that I didn't jump off the cliff or something?" Tifa broke in irritably. Half of the group must have been expecting it or something from the way they had trailed her nonstop ever since Cloud's assumed demise. Tifa felt silly for her comment. Of course Vincent wouldn't make sure she was alright. Why would he even care?Tifa was of the private opinion that Vincent had and would only care for two people in the world ever. Himself and Lucrecia.   
  
But that didn't explain away why he had let her have her space, unlike the other group members..which to Tifa meant more than anything. Funny..he understood her better than Cait Sith or any of them, yet he had barely said ten paragraphs to her the whole time he had known her.   
  
Vincent didn't respond to her question, he just stood there, staring at her with those fathomless black eyes of his and making Tifa nervous. His face, in plain view with the wind whipping back his ebony locks made her even more exceedingly nervous. The slight show of emotion shown there tranformed it into something..human? What did he want?  
  
The silence was becoming unbearable, so Tifa spoke again, repeating her question, this time with less of the sarcastic bite to it. "Vincent?What were you trying to make sure?"  
  
"Make sure you didn't act like I would have in your place." Tifa stared at Vincent, startled at such a personal admission and searching for the emotion that had caused it..but whatever trace of apathy had been on Vincent's face had vanished and left him with his usual mudane expression .   
  
"And how would that be?" Tifa didn't think Vincent would answer and she wasn't surprised when he didn't. She already had a good idea of how he would act in such a situation anyway. "I'm fine" Tifa tried to reassure him.  
  
  
"No, you're not at all. Anyone who says you will be ever again after something like this is lying. You'll always carry part of him with you.." Vincent's words weren't exactly comforting, but Tifa somehow managed to find comfort in them anyway. She had a feeling he was drawing on his own experiences in life when had spoken as he had.  
  
"Is that how it was with you and Lucrecia?" As soon as the words were out of her mouth, Tifa regretted them. The forbidden "L" word was never mentioned around Vincent. She waited for him to retreat back into his of silence and was half expecting him to turn his back to her and flat walk off.  
  
He didn't and defied all convention by actually staying in place and speaking. "Not how it was..how it is." The way he spoke spooked Tifa a bit. He acted as if Lucrecia were still a being instead of simply a ghost of the past. Tifa felt a sense of dread. Was this what she was going to be like in twenty years?Still having Cloud invade her every thought?  
  
Vincent hurried to get the topic off himself. "Tifa?Was that object something of Cloud's?"  
  
"What object?"  
  
"The one you threw in the water." Vincent had gotten over his emberassment at being caught watching Tifa's actions rather fast.  
  
"Yeah, it as Cloud's. His ring..for me." Tifa felt a wave of self pity. "You're lucky Vincent..you at least got to tell Lucrecia how you felt before she died.."  
  
Vincent's eyes clouded over. "I wouldn't call it lucky, exactly. Better to have had a love that was mutual on both sides than one that was completely one sided." And he would say no more on the subject. Tifa had never really thought of Vincent's relationship with Lucrecia as onesided, but then maybe he was speaking in the present tense again..and in the present tense, Vincent's relationship with Lucrecia was definitely VERY one sided.  
  
Tifa attempted an incredibly wobbly smile. "I had Cloud's friendship while he still lived and his love after he died. At least I finally got to experience both.."  
  
Something in that tentative smile made Vincent want to comfort her and much as he tried to shake off the feeling, it persisted. Tifa looked so alone standing there. As if no one could understand what she was going through. Not entirely sure of what he was doing, Vincent closed the distance between them.  
  
In a sudden whirlwind of his red cloak, Tifa found herself wrapped in a quick hug; a quiet source of strength.  
  
Vincent let go of her as suddenly as he had hugged her, rubbed the back of his neck, and looked out over the green slope, where the number of people garbed in black was slowly dwindling. He started to make his way down the hill and then changed his mind.   
  
"Tifa?Trying to put the past behind you...throwing a ring away's not going to solve that." Vincent then took off running, his cloak flapping behind him in the wind, leaving Tifa with far more than just a hug to think about.  
  
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A/N=Sooo sleepppy...*yawn*. I decided to post this before I go on my trip to Germany because I'm not sure if I'll be able to use my laptop over there..I hope so, though!:)If not, well you'll know when I don't update for awhile.  
  



	3. The Dove

~ Half Forgotten Memories~   
by:GoldenSilence   
Ch. 3-The dove   
A/N=So sorry this took so long to get out, but between my trip to Europe and fanfiction.net going crazy*kicks the website* it took me awhile. Thanks again to everyone that has reviewed the last two chapters! Reviews make me very happy.^ _ ^ Oh yeah, just in case anyone is curious, this was orginally an FF8 story, but I thought it would suit the FF7 characters better.   
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All was calm and restful in the ephermal time halfway between night and day. A dove dozed on the brightly painted windowsill of Yuffie's house in Wutai . A shutter was thrown open on one of the higher floors of this structure, disrupting the peaceful atmosphere and the bird all at once.   
  
The dove, squeaking at the indignity, flew off into the horizon; a streak of white against a chaos of pastel colors. Tifa surveyed the early dawn. Everything was so still-not even the clouds appeared to move. It was like a temporary suspending of time. Tifa lived for it. Getting up early was a favorite pastime of hers, right up there with kicking butt.   
  
In the early morning glow the world seemed to be a whole different place, wider and full of thousands of possibilities. In this clash of night and day it even seemed as if Cloud could exsist. Maybe he was trapped in a dawn similiar to this one, a dawn that never ended.   
  
Tifa had tried to stay away from thinking too much about the fate of Cloud and the others since the funeral and had suceeded incredibly well at it during the day, but during the dawn or nighttime was a whole different matter. During both of these times her thoughts kept revolving around him like a hamster around a wheel. Tifa craddled her head in one of her hands, transfixed by the beauty of the sky. Memories came flooding back to her; ones that had faded into obscurity over time.   
  
A small child of about three was sneaking out of her covers and running through the streets of Mideel to get to the beach. Once there, she turned her little face up to the sun, raising her hands high above her head and flapping them. Another older figure-of ten years or so- coming up behind her, in his PJ's, tripping down the stairs leading to the beach and falling in the sand.   
  
In spite of being flat on his bottom, the boy tried to play it cool. "You shouldn't be out here alone, Tifa. It's dangerous."   
  
Tifa stuck her tongue out at him. "I don't care, I'm tough!"   
  
"What are you doing anyway?"   
  
"Fwying." The little girl laughed. "Vincy, Looks like you just went ka-splat!"   
  
The black haired boy's face turned red as he scrambled to his feet. "What do you know?You're just a little child.."-Vincent paused here to give Tifa a glare- "and stop calling me Vincy!It sounds babyish."   
  
"Oh..awight..Vincypoo!"The young Tifa giggled and went back to flopping her arms up and down. Vincent watched for awhile before he spoke again, perplexed.   
  
"Aww,Tifa..you aren't flying!How can you fly if you're not up in the air?"   
  
"Silly" said Tifa. "You just have to use your imagin..imagin.."   
  
"Imagimination?" spoke up Vincent helpfully, making fun of the little girl's usual speech. He couldn't help it-she was a cute, tiny thing. His mother said he wasn't supposed to play with regular people, but..what harm could a three year old kid cause?   
  
"Yeah.That." Tifa demonstrated her flying ability some more. "I'm pretending I have wings and am a big.."   
  
"Airplane?" broke in the boy again, not as helpfully this time.   
  
Tifa shook her head impatiently. "No!Can't you see?I'm a chocobo!"   
  
Vincent knelt until he was on eye level with her. "Oh. Tifa, can I imagiminate with you?"   
  
"Sure!teehee."   
  
Two children pretended to fly off into the sunrise as the scene faded out. Her and Vincent? Tifa frowned. But that couldn't be. She hadn't so much as known the vampire until they had found him in his coffin shutting out the world. Tifa could see now why he had done so. She wouldn't mind going into a box and shutting out the world at the moment either. No way it could be a memory. Could it?She had known Cloud as a child. Not Vincent.   
  
  
Tifa concentrated on a small white dot in the sky darting among the clouds, trying to put her thoughts in some far corner of her mind. It got closer and closer until Tifa could clearly make out its' form and realized it was the dove from earlier. Something shiny was glinting from its' beak.   
  
The bird swooped over the windowsill and dropped the object.Tifa picked it up and inspected it curiously. No way. It wasn't possible. No damn way. Cloud's ring?She had gotten rid of at the funeral-or so she thought. First that wierd memory and now this. The day was beginning to seem surreal. Tifa wondered if she might be dreaming.   
  
She pinched herself and actually felt worse at the small amount of pain that greeted her. Something in Tifa's mind whispered about second chances. She tried to turn the ring over but her hand was shaking too badly, and instead the ring fell into the air. Tifa hadn't meant to drop it. It was purely an accident but she still felt very relieved it had happened. Deciding she had been staring out the window for long enough and forgetting to close it, Tifa went to the small kitchen of sorts to boil some coffee.   
  
When she returned later with a mug of coffee in hand to close the shutters she felt a sudden strong inclanation to turn around and run as far away from the window as possible. There on the windowsill, as if she had never sent it hurtling into the sky minutes before, was Cloud's ring.   
  
Tifa slammed her coffee cup down unto the floor and grabbed the ring, ready to throw it again. The thing kept popping up..just like her memories of Cloud..and Vincent? Well, she wasn't going to have that. She would get rid of that ring if she had to melt it in the oven herself.   
  
Out the window the ring sailed and Tifa closed the shutters and picked up her coffee cup, ready to get dressed and leave her room as soon as possible. She wasn't about to stick around waiting for the ring to turn up again.   
  
A swooshing sound at the window made her turn around in a hurry. Since the windowsill was no longer available for use, the dove was ramming itself into the window, an object all too familiar to Tifa grasped in its' clutches.   
  
The shutters were pushed back so forcefully by Tifa that they nicked into the wall, leaving two identical thin scratch marks. She scooped up the ring one last time. Tifa was too blinded by anger to even bother to look at the target she was throwing the object at ..which explained why it hit the dove instead of spiralling down into the air like she had intended. The dove, hurt by the ring, flopped on to the windowsill.   
  
Her anger immediately evaporated. Worried, Tifa leaned over to take a closer look at the injured bird.   
  
"Hmm..you look alright to me."   
  
That was when she spotted the wing. From where the fine peice of craftsmanship had hit it, the wing was bent at an uncomfortably looking odd angle. "Poor thing" Tifa crooned to the dove. She reached over her hand to soothe the bird, but as she began to stroke it soft feathers it took a sudden gasp of air..and then stopped breathing altogether. Tifa could feel its' last heartbeat under her hand before she quickly removed it.   
  
The bird had died at her touch..but how?. Tifa, saddened and scared, went to the kitchen to get some paper towels to wrap it in. Walking back in to the room she took the wad of paper towels and started to place the bird in them when something or someone spoke.   
  
"So you are beginning to realize your abilities?Life, death;they only represent a mere drop of your potential..or is it someone else's?"   
  
Tifa dropped the paper towels to the floor to join the coffee cup from earlier and spun around on her heel. "Who's there?"   
  
The voice did not respond to her question. " You killed the bird. You killed Cloud. These are facts. Do not avoid them, embrace them. For with them comes the means to even more power."   
  
Tifa clamped her hands over her ears, trying to get rid of the voice. How could it say such horrible things, such horrible falsehoods?   
  
"No!It's not true!Liar!Go away!"   
  
"As you wish. What you ignore will come back to haunt you one day.." The voice faded off into oblivion, leaving a very shaken and ash-white Tifa behind.   
  
Memories of Vincent that were impossible for her to have and voices from nowhere?Far too many questions with far too few anwsers.   
  
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A/N=So did you like the whole thing with her and Vincent's memories?I know he's kinda out of character as a kid, but I thought it was a nice touch. The beach thing in that too..well just humor me. I guess what I kind of mean is that they both ran out of town to sit by the beach..*sigh*..it is slightly far fetched..but then this whole fic is,hehe.:) Confusing yes, but all the little plot twists will explain themselves soon.


	4. Insane

~Half Forgotten Memories~   
ch. 4-Insanity   
by:GoldenSilence   
A/N=*takes a deep breath*...SelphieSelphieSelphieSelphieSelphie..there,I got it out of my system.:)So I had better not mention anything ff8 again in this chapter!   
  
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Trembling like a leaf in the wind, Tifa took her hands off her ears. When the voice had been there, it had seemed to resound off the wall; booming at her. Now it was gone. Just like that. Tifa didn't even bother to search for the apparition that the voice belonged to-because something inside her said that there wasn't one.   
  
She want to think about what it had said either. How could she have killed Cloud?She couldn't remember doing anything like that. Tifa repeated the facts over and over again in her head. He had been killed after Sephiroth had summoned him for one last fight..lost in space. She had been miles away from him. She had nothing to do with it.   
  
Besides, if she had killed Cloud(just the thought of it made Tifa shiver) then it certainly wouldn't be something she was able to forget..ever. No matter what. A small bit of comfort in spite of the bleakness of it all came to her with her reasoning.   
  
"At the funeral didn't you wish to have your memories of Cloud erased so you wouldn't have to feel any pain?Maybe your wish came true. Maybe the memories have disintigrated. Maybe you were the murderer. Maybe all you can remember are lies. Lies told so many times you believe them."   
  
The voice was back, grating on Tifa's ears-and nerves. Tifa didn't even put her hands over her ears this time. Desperate to get rid of the voice, she ran, wanting to put distance between her and this horrible thing that was questioning everything she believed.   
  
Tifa flew into the bathroom panting, locked the door behind her, and turned on the bathtub; some illogical part of her thinking that the voice was something that could be shut out.   
  
Soon, the bathroom was filled with the drone of the rushing water as it splashed into the tub. Tifa sat in the middle of it, not even realizing the steam and heat coming from the liquid, soaking into her skin and almost seeming to absorb it. All she realized or cared about was that the voice was gone and she was safe.   
  
Tifa's limbs and even, eventually, her mind, slowly began to calm down from her previously tense and anxious state.   
  
I just imagined it, she told herself.   
  
And in her little haven full of soapsuds and steaming water, it almost seemed possible. Everything outside the cramped bathroom felt like it had ceased to exsist. Tifa began to scrub herself with the soap and wash her hair, feeling a whole lot better. Everything that had taken place that morning just seemed surreal. She wondered if she had simply dreamt the whole thing.   
  
Her reverie didn't last long. The sense of doubt that had been several times multiplied when the dove had died and the voice had spoken came back faintly.   
"What if?" it whispered. "What if you did kill Cloud?"   
  
Tifa tried to shake off her lack of assuredness by staring at her bathroom mirror. She was half surprised to see the brown eyed, red haired girl there-her normal reflection. After all that had happened, she certainly didn't feel normal.   
  
"You didn't imagine me, you can't ignore me. My presense is forever..and I won't ever go away...but you will.."   
  
The water, which had been a still source of calm up 'till now suddenly became a wavy and agitated. Tifa's senses were all screaming at her to move, but she stayed frozen in place, either out of fear-or she had a sinking feeling, because she simply couldn't.   
  
The waves began to bigger and bigger, reaching at first only her nose, then her eyes, next her forehead-they quickly accompased gigantic proportions; slapping and slushing back and forth, spilling over the tub and slopping unto the floor. The forthcoming wave was the biggest of all and it went over her head, consuming all of her underneath its depths. Tifa struggled to break to the top, but it was akin to being stuck in a tub of glue- she couldn't move an inch.   
  
"It's going to drown me!" she thought wildly, not even sure what "it" was..only that "it" had a voice that she never, ever wished to hear again. Intent on saving her life, Tifa began searching for the drain to the tub. The tub felt like a fathomless ocean..though Tifa was sure there was a cement bottom somewhere- she was positive her toes weren't scraping it. Why, she couldn't even see the walls of the tub.   
  
Even underneath the water, Tifa could hear the sound of knuckles on wood.   
  
"Tifa?I was wondering if perhaps we could talk-about you and Cloud-and me and..Lucrecia. You can't keep looking yourself up in here forever because.." The voice stopped as Tifa's screams reached its ears. "Tifa?Is that you?"   
  
Tifa wanted to shout and scream some more, but she couldn't-instead, she settled for flailing and thrashing as hard as she could. The next minute, Tifa was breathing in gasps of air at the surface. The water, as if it had never tried to drown her, had become calm again.   
  
Tifa grabbed the soap and jumped out of the bathtub like a highly wound up coil of spring.   
  
"Where are you?" Tifa wasn't directing this at the person on the other side of the door, but at the voice.   
  
Yanking on a bathrobe, unlocking the door to the bathroom, and wielding her ivory soap in one hand, Tifa lost all sense of reason as she began to yell back at the top of her lungs to the voice; enraged that it would come back and horrified to hear what it had to say.   
  
At the first sign of movement in her room, the soap went hurdling through the air, hitting..Vincent?   
  
Sure enough, Vincent was standing outside the bathroom door, rubbing his eyes with one hand to try and get the soap out of them and with the other hand, holding the bar of soap Tifa had pitched.   
  
"Tifa? What's the matter?"   
  
"I..I.." Tifa stammered, trying to put into words what had been happening. I..I..I, she mocked herself silently inside her head. Let's try in the past thirty minutes, I've killed a bird, been told I am a murderer, almost been murdered, and chased an unknown voice with a bar of soap.   
  
Since he had finally cleared the soap out of his eyes, Vincent got a good chance to look at Tifa and take in the surroundings. She was clad in only a bathrobe and her hair, in total disarray, was still soaking wet and dripping. Her feet and fingers were wrinkled like prunes. Her eyes were the size of saucers- as if she was scared of something or someone. She looked like a complete wreck, not to mention the floor around her; which was littered with paper towels, and a broken coffee mug. What the hell had happened to her?   
  
Thinking she was too traumatized to have heard him the first time, Vincent voiced his worries out loud again. "Tifa?What happened?"   
  
Tifa, unable to say anything, wordlessly pointed to the windowsill where the dove still lay prone.   
  
Vincent's response was pretty matter of a fact. "A dead bird?So that's what smells in here." He frowned at Tifa. "That wasn't what you were shouting about though-was it?"   
  
Tifa just shook her head. Vincent neatly picked up the dove and deposited it in the trash. "Alright, guts and gore disposed of. You can stop looking like you've seen a ghost now."   
  
Tifa still said nothing. Vincent raised his eyebrows. "Or not." Hyne help him, Tifa looked so desperate-as if she wanted to tell him something with all her soul but didn't know how to form the words. It reminded him of Lucrecia-when she had come to tell him that she was pre-but then that was something that Vincent did not need to run over in his mind once more. He had already done so thousands of times.   
  
Then looking at Tifa's shaking form, it hit Vincent. She must have had a nightmare about Cloud. Of course-that had to be it. Her memories of Cloud no doubt tortured her as much as Vincent's memories of Lucrecia. When Vincent spoke, it was with a gentleness alien to his curt way of speaking. "You were remembering Cloud-weren't you?"   
  
"That was part of it..but there was something else too..and them combined..."   
Tifa felt salty water met her lips and was rather surprised to realize that she was crying. Crying was not an experience Tifa was used to- or something that she did often, for that matter.   
  
Vincent saw the tears and was every bit as surprised as she was. Poor Tifa. She was more affected by the deaths than him or anyone else in the gang would ever be. She had really loved Cloud, he thought with only a twing of his past jealousness. After all, it was hard to be jealous of a man that was dead. And it was hard to be jealous when Vincent refused to believe that he loved Tifa in the first place. Which was partially true-he loved Tifa in second place-second place after Lucrecia.   
  
Half sobbing, she continued on, wanting Vincent to know what had happened but not sure how to tell him. "Vincent?Did you hear..anything else..a few minutes ago?"   
  
  
"Besides your screams?"   
  
"Yeah."   
  
Vincent shook his head. "No. No other noise. Though, not much could be audible over the racket you were making."   
  
If Tifa had felt scared before, it was nothing to what she felt now. He didn't hear anything?She had been thrashing and causing enough commotion to wake half of the hotel. Was he joking with her?To make sure, Tifa asked one more time.   
  
"Nothing?"   
  
"No". And that was that. Not paying any attention to where she was putting her feet, the only thing Tifa was aware of was the fact she wanted to get out of this room..pronto. Away from whatever strange phenomina was in it.   
  
Vincent looked at her confused as she tried to brush past him.   
  
"Um, Tifa?Just where are you planning on going in your bathrobe?"   
  
"Shera..got to see a Shera.."   
Tifa's voice was taking on a panicky note. It wasn't well known, but Shera had once been a doctor. She could help Tifa. She had to be able to.   
  
Vincent yanked one of her wrists to stop her from leaving.   
  
"Not in that state you aren't. Tifa, talk to me." Vincent had asked her twice to talk-in the past half an hour, but Tifa didn't notice that either.   
  
She looked up at him, tears still flowing down her cheeks as she wobbled on her feet. Vincent reached out a hand to steady her, and that was when she completely lost it. Her feet slid out from under her as she slipped over a paper towel and into his arms.   
  
Vincent held her stiffly-going against the instinct to crush her close and simply keeping her at an almost arm's length instead. The few tears that Tifa was desperately trying to control(and was a little bit ashamed of) rapidly evolved into a torrent.   
  
It was strange, but Tifa had always felt protected in Vincent's arms(as she had always thought she would have in Cloud's when he had still been alive). There was no sense of protection now. Tifa roughly pushed Vincent away and made for the door.   
  
"Murderer". The voice was booming even louder than before, as if it wanted to proclaim to the world this fact. "Can't hide from me, can you?Can't hide from the truth either.."   
  
"I'M NOT HIDING!" Tifa roared back. "THAT'S NOT WHAT HAPPENED!"   
  
Vincent looked like someone had just slapped him. Taking hold of her again, he began to shake her violently.   
  
"Tifa?Tifa?Snap out of it!"   
  
"Did you hear it?Did you hear what it said?" Tifa was hysterical.   
  
What was WRONG with her?Tifa was really starting to scare him. Who did she hear?Cloud's voice?Vincent was delusional, he lived in his dreams of Lucrecia-but at least he never heard her. And Tifa acted as if it wasn't just all inside her head..   
  
Vincent tried his best to sound calm, hoping that maybe if he did, she would calm down too..and come back to her senses.   
  
"Of course I heard something. You kept screaming at yourself."   
  
"No, not me!The other voice!Didn't you hear it?"   
  
Vincent immediately stopped shaking her and stepped back like she was something contagious.   
  
" Tifa, there wasn't any other voice. Just you, shouting yourself hoarse."   
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A/N=Review or I'll mention Selphie again.(now there's a threat if ever I heard one..j/k..but please do review, they are very appreciated.:)) 


	5. Nightmare

~Half Forgotten Memories~  
  
by:GoldenSilence  
  
CH.5-Nightmare  
  
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A/N=More good ol' confusing chapters! There is a plot to this, I promise. I was kinda sick with a cold when I wrote this, so I hope it's still good!..*honks on a tissue*. You know, maybe I am a little too much into writing..*thinks*..nyahh.  
Oh yeah, don't you just love the chapter titles?Geez, they get more and more foreboding by the minute.  
  
BTW=I hope there isn't a single obscure reference to FF8 in here-as, I'm warning you guys, I was playing it today.   
  
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Sephiroth's victory against Cloud had been shallow. If it had been a victory. Neither had really won and neither had lost, though Sephiroth wished more than anything that he could have been the one that died. More to the point, that he could die.   
  
The blurring silver of their swords as they slashed through the air and their bodies were all that were visible in the pitch black void of space. Then after several times of their swords meeting-metal upon metal- it had happened. Cloud's weapon had found a permanent sheath in Sephiroth's body, but not before Sepiroth's weapon could do likewise.  
  
Cloud had died and Sephiroth should have-but he couldn't. Through his veins flowed the blood of Jenova..Sephiroth was cursed to be immortal.  
  
At the moment, however, he looked merely mortal. A captive of the grime, muck, and decay that was otherwise known as Corel prison , Sephiroth lay curled up in a fetal position.  
  
He tossed and turned, unable to attain the reprieve he craved even in sleep. The prison, he had hoped, would be his sanctuary. From her. He should have known better. It was like being a ball on a chain; one tug and he was back where it had all started, his own thoughts a mix of revenge and the ultimate glory that was his..if only he reached for it..if only he killed again...  
  
Sephiroth was stronger now, he could refuse the pull of the voice, the images of bloodshed, of the world as his-but only just barely. And the voice persisted, never stopping. It and him had been one-and it was determined they would be one again.  
  
  
Deep within insanity, the last remains of Sephiroth's own personality hid, slowly coming back together piece by piece after it had been corrupted and twisted by Jenova.  
  
Sephiroth's appearance was similiar to that of all the prisoners Corel Prison held. His hair fell in long unkempt strings of tangled white down his back, his face was gaunt and his body nothing but a frame of bones- as if he had not eaten in decades.  
  
Within prison was this man. Within this man was the dream. Within this dream was the voice. Fighting, fighting. Why must he always fight?All he wanted was peace. Peace from his own nightmare of a life.  
  
"Go away," Sephiroth muttered in his sleep. "You're fucking with my head is how I got here in the first place."   
  
The voice had found its way hazily into his dreams. It had found it's way in, but Sephiroth knew he could make it leave just as quickly. It didn't- and never would, if Sephiroth had his way about it- own his dreams again.  
  
"And it's how you'll get out," the voice hissed, but it's sound was only a mere ripple in Sephiroth's brain.   
  
Already, it was losing it's power. The fact that it could only enter his through his dreams instead of when he was fully consious was proof of that. It didn't have the control over him that it once had had.   
  
"Let me guess, another ancient has been found and you want me to kill him. Typical." Sephiroth could hear himself speak even in his dream.  
  
The voice ignored his comment as Sephiroth knew it would.  
  
"You are not the only one infused with the blood of Jenova. There is one other. I need you to find her . Only through her and you can I come back to power."   
  
"Who?"  
  
"You need not know. Concern yourself only with bringing her to me."  
  
Jenova back in full power. Him back in full power. The thought was terrifying.  
  
"And if I don't?"   
  
Sephiroth was still in his dreams, but he felt as wide awake and clear minded as if he wasn't. A sudden sharp pain wracked his head, and even in his sleep, he felt it.   
  
"Then I'll have to kill you," calmly stated the voice.   
  
"Kill me?When I am immortal?You yourself made me so."  
  
"I made you so and I can just as easily take it away!Your life is in my hands, you know it."  
  
"Go ahead. I have nothing left to live for anyway."  
  
The voice laughed and the noise resounded around and around in Sephiroth's head 'until he wanted nothing more then to heave. "I won't do it," he stated again.  
  
"Tsk tsk..have it your way. In that case, I'll just have to bring her to you.."  
  
He could feel the voice ebbing away from him-but its presense would remain. Sephiroth was wrong. Jenova had not gotten weaker. Jenova had gotten stronger. Sephiroth refused to succumb to it.  
  
"WAIT!DON'T GO!YOU CAN'T DRAG SOME OTHER HELPLESS PERSON AND ME INTO THIS, YOU JUST CAN'T!UNDERSTAND??JUST KILL ME IF YOU WANT, IT'S TEN TIMES BETTER THAN GOING THROUGH THIS ALL OVER AGAIN!"  
  
No response. The youngest guard on duty looking apprehensively towards Sephiroth's cell as he heard the yelling coming from it. The other guard; a big burly man, gave him some advice.   
  
"Aye. Completely insane, they say. Talks to things that aren't there. Best stay far away from him if ya know what's good for ya."  
  
Sephiroth sat bolt upright on his bale of straw, causing his head to hit the rock hard cement wall. He cursed and rubbed the back of his neck. He wished he could call the voice just a dream, but he knew better than that. Jenova had been real and it would soon be entering his waking thoughts again when it had found the girl.   
  
Sephiroth was sure it would. When he had been in soldier, he had tried to use Jenova to bring about what he wanted. From that devestating mistake, he had learned one thing. No one used Jenova to bring about their dreams..she manipulated them to bring about hers.  
  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Meanwhile, a being of no body or physical appearance(she had lost that long ago)..but a being none the less, was traveling at breakneck speed towards Wutai, it's inn, and one particular room within that inn.   
  
This plan would succeed. Sephiroth was stubborn, but he would succumb to her eventually..once she got just a little stronger and he just a little weaker. Yes. The plan would most definitely succeed. The world would be hers..hers and his.  
  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Tifa stared slack jawed at Vincent, her mind refusing to take in and register the words he had just uttered. She was automatically on the defensive.   
  
"Vincent, that's not funny. I'm really not in the mood, so stop making up shit, okay?"  
  
That comment could be directed at her as well, thought Vincent wryly. After all, Tifa had just said she'd killed Cloud. Vincent had heard her loud and clear (and with the way she had been shouting in that raspy voice, so, Vincent suspected, had half of the people staying at the inn.)   
  
Just listening to her argue with herself like that had sent chills up and down his spine. The death must just have been too much for her to take, thought Vincent. It wasn't that hard to believe.  
  
Tifa had first put the blame for Cloud's death on others, swearing to find Sephiroth and hunt him down if he was still alive while she seethed with hate. It was natural. Vincent had done it himself for awhile when he found out of Lucrecia's death-for approximately ten years seething in a coffin, if you wanted to get technical.   
  
Now Tifa was transferring the blame of Cloud's death onto her own conscience, making herself think if only she had done something, she could have stopped all of it from happening.   
  
Vincent was filled with helpless indignation at the thought. Tifa couldn't have prevented it. There was no way. What had happened had happened.   
  
Like what happened to Lucrecia..If only I had been there for her..if only I had told her once again how much I loved her..  
  
Did Tifa really put the blame for Cloud's death on her own shoulders? Vincent was confused. He wanted to tell Tifa it wasn't her fault, but yet he knew that his words would be wasted because Tifa would not believe him. After all, hadn't Cloud and Barret and all the rest told him time and time again Lucrecia's death wasn't his fault?   
  
Vincent had never believed them. Not once. Not until he saw Lucrecia's ghost at the waterfall and heard from her own lips that he could not have prevented her death.  
  
Or maybe that wasn't the case at all. Vincent was getting increasingly panicky trying to make sense of why Tifa had been shouting at nothing. Maybe she had no control over any of it. Most crazy people (and Vincent was beginning to put Tifa in that category) had no control over their actions.   
  
Vincent gave a slight shiver at the thought. Grief could drive you crazy-perhaps Lucrecia's ghost had only ever been in Vincent's imagination-the same might be happening to Tifa..only if she had seen Cloud's phantom, he certainly wasn't providing the same kind of closure Lucrecia's ghost had.  
  
"I'm not making up shit." Vincent sighed. "But I really hope you are."  
  
Tifa was enraged. "What?You think I'd make up something like this happening to me?Do you have any idea.."- Tifa's voice wavered slightly-"what I have been through?"  
  
All too well, thought Vincent, but decided it was best not to get into an arguement with Tifa. His heart was breaking. He wanted to believe her, but well, he'd seen what he'd seen. And what he had seen was her talking to herself..in two different voices, no less!  
  
"Tifa"-Vincent strove to keep his voice neutral-"What exactly do you believe happened?"  
  
When Tifa spoke, it was in a half whisper. Vincent got the distinct feeling of a frightened animal trying to hide underneath its' shell.  
  
"Not much to tell when you saw pretty much everything. This voice..I don't know where it was coming from-but it wasn't me-it told me things. Horrible things."  
  
"What kinds of horrible things?"   
  
Vincent knew perfectly well what kinds of horrible things, but he wanted to see Tifa's reaction to the question.  
  
"Vincent, you heard them. I can't say them..I just can't.." Tifa's voice was taking a slightly hysterical turn again.  
  
"There was nothing. You convinced yourself you heard something, but there was nothing," Vincent said firmly. "Just shut it out. Shut it out and maybe it'll go away."   
  
Vincent feverently hoped his advice was true. That Tifa, simple as that, could come back to her senses and stop talking to herself.  
  
"No. The voice comes and goes as it pleases-it said so. Said it was part of me forever or something..I don't know what it is..but I want to get rid of it."   
  
No doubt about it, Tifa's voice was back to being full blown hysterical again. Though he was slightly relieved at the fact that at least Tifa didn't want to keep acting like a loony, Vincent was still very worried.  
  
Vincent went over various things in his mind to say to Tifa. Words were not his forte-and he desperately needed them now. Mostly, he just wanted to ask her about her feelings, what she was going through; how she was coping with Cloud's death.  
How she was coping on the outside was plain to see, but it was the inside that troubled him.   
  
Looking at Tifa's trembling,bathrobe clad form, Vincent's mind was settled. If he wasn't sure how to talk to Tifa at the moment, at least Shera would be. Tifa was right. Shera would be able to help..somehow. She had been a doctor-she would know if the voices Tifa was hearing were simply a product of an overactive imagination.  
  
He had to take Tifa to see Shera, what alternative did he have? There was no way Vincent was going to leave Tifa alone in her room. Not as she was now. Taking her to Shera would probably be a good idea..of all the group, Shera was the calmest and most collected. She wouldn't make Tifa even more hysterical than she already was.   
  
"Tifa, you were right. You should go see Shera. NOW." Tifa had never heard Vincent's voice so determined and scared at the same time. Scared of her, she presumed. Anger came on top of everything else Tifa felt at the moment. If anyone had a right to be scared, it was her.   
  
She knew what she had heard. She KNEW... and Vincent thought it was all in her own head.  
  
Tifa didn't try to resist as Vincent gripped her firmly by the one shoulder and guided her down the hall. As if I can't be trusted to walk by myself, thought Tifa. She was trying to show Vincent she was perfectly fine by acting rationally ( which was hard to do as Tifa felt anything but rational) , yet at the same time concocting statements and speeches that would make him realize that she hadn't been talking to herself early in the morning for no particular reason.  
  
But there are times you are unable to make someone believe something, no matter how hard you try to explain. Besides, how the hell do you explain something you can't explain?   
  
The dilemma Tifa was caught in with Vincent was a complicated one. The dilemma she was caught in with herself was even less easily solved.  
  
  
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A/N#2=*Grins*...and the plot slowly starts to unravel...sorry for the short chapters. It's hard to write long ones when I have alot of other stories besides this one to update! 


	6. Going Away

~Half Forgotten Memories~  
by:GoldenSilence  
Ch.6-Going away  
disclaimer:All FF7 characters belong to their various creators.  
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A/N=It's been two weeks since I updated this..sorry everyone!:DI will have a chapter out at least once a week from now on. The chapters will also be longer (and Christmas vacation is coming up-coincidence?I think not.:))  
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Vincent was the only one to speak as they walked quietly across the darkened hall to the room Shera was staying in.  
  
"Look Tifa, I don't know if this is happening to you, whatever it is, because of Cloud's death, but everyone has to deal with this. We just have to get through it. You have to let it go."  
  
Vincent sounded like he had been rehearsing that little sentence of his for months. Tifa was about to respond to Vincent when she realized they were at the door to Shera's room and that she really didn't know how to respond anyway.  
  
She must have made quite a sight. Tifa's tears had not yet dried on her cheeks,she was still clad in a bathrobe, and her damp hair was dripping water on the floor and probably leaving similiar puddles all the way across the hotel.  
  
Even after being woken up at the crack of dawn, Shera still looked as composed as ever. She scrutinized Tifa and Vincent.  
  
"What's the matter?"  
  
"Nothing much"-Vincent tried to sound as nonchalant as possible-"just wanted to come in for a little chat."   
  
Shera allowed herself the smallest raise of an eyebrow. If there was any word she had never dreamed Vincent would say it was chat. The closest she had ever heard him get to chatty was when he had talked to Tifa a few days ago. Of course!Tifa must have come to Shera to talk and Vincent, for some unknown reason, had decided to tag along. The idea of Vincent openly talking to Shera was unbelievable-not to mention uncomfortable.  
  
"Of course," said Shera. Ignoring Vincent, she looked directly at Tifa. "What do you want to talk about?"  
  
Vincent was still gripping Tifa's shoulder so hard it felt like it would fall off. "She'll talk afterwards. I want to talk first. Privately," he said tersly, as if it was an effort for him to get the words out.  
  
Shera's eyebrows raised a little higher. Privately? What on earth? Then what was Tifa doing here?   
  
"I..I..suppose."  
  
Vincent nodded and suddenly let go of his grip on Tifa. She immediately began messaging her sore shoulder.  
  
"I'm sorry, but I need to speak to Shera for a moment. Can you go outside?"   
  
Tifa glared. "I thought I was supposed to be the one talking to Shera."  
  
"You will. After I'm done talking first."   
  
Tifa sighed. "Fine." She went out of Shera's room, resisting the urge to slam the door.  
  
After the funeral, Vincent's facade had dropped, even if not for long, and she had seen the emotion that was hidden beneath the surface. Now Vincent was back to being Vincent. Terse and unemotional at best.  
  
Tifa pressed her ear up against the door, trying to catch what Vincent and Shera were saying, but their voices were still too muffled. When the murmuring of voices at last stopped and Tifa went back in, Shera was looking at Tifa like she had just spouted an extra head. Great, Tifa figured, feeling alot frusterated with her friend than she had felt in a long time. Vincent must have already told her HIS side of the story. That I'm crazy and talking to myself and should be locked up immediately.  
  
"Tifa..Vincent said some intresting things have been going on. Do you want to tell me about them?"  
  
"Yeah..okay."   
  
Shera sounded a good deal to much like a shrink for Tifa's comfort, but she decided it couldn't hurt to give her the right story, not Vincent's own twisted version. Better to have her try to explain things than have Shera simply go on thinking she was a nutcase.  
  
"Vincent,maybe you had best go while me and Tifa talk."  
  
Tifa shook her head. "No, that's alright, Shera. I want him to hear this too." Couldn't hurt to try to convince Vincent she wasn't a nutcase as well while she as at it. Tifa didn't know why, but it bugged her that Vincent hadn't believed her. She had believed him when he had told of meeting Lucrecia's ghost, hadn't she? Hadn't everyone? So why couldn't he believe her now?  
  
Thirty minutes later, Tifa had told Shera and Vincent almost everything. Her optimism that they would understand what had happened to her was not exactly at an all time high.   
  
Vincent kept glancing at Tifa sideways the whole time she was talking, as if afraid she would break into a million pieces in front of his eyes. Shera, to her credit, only looked slightly shocked...but Tifa could clearly see she was skeptical and would probably go with Vincent's version of the whole thing.  
  
Tifa had one last part she had left out, partly because she wasn't sure it would help her cause. It would either convince Shera and Vincent for good that she was crazy, or it would make them finally believe what had really happened.   
  
She was about to explain to them how something had almost drowned her in the bathtub when Shera jerked forward almost mechanically in her chair, her eyes staring at nothing. For a split second, Tifa thought she was having a heart attack or something of the sort, but then just as quickly as it had happened, it was over, and Shera's eyes refocused as she leaned back in the chair again.  
  
Tifa stared at her. "Shera??"  
  
Shera blinked owlishly. "Afraid I must have fallen asleep. You'll have to excuse me. What with the funeral and all, it hasn't exactly been easy to get a good night's rest lately. " She smiled at Tifa and Tifa couldn't help but feel that something wasn't right. "Now where were we?"  
  
"She was telling you about the voices," Vincent prompted.   
  
"Oh yes, of course. Now about these voices..did they ever try to do anything to you? Harm you?"  
  
"How..how did you know?" Tifa stuttered.  
  
Vincent was becoming more and more uneasy as the conversation went on. Tifa was so convinced that the voices were really from someone else. Not a good thing.  
  
Tifa continued. "I was taking a bath this morning and then it was as if I was drowning. No, I was drowning, I swear it. The bath wasn't a bath anymore, it was like an ocean or something. The voice was there the whole time, telling me-"  
  
She stopped midsentence. Vincent was giving her another one of the strange, unreadable expressions in his reptoire and Shera looked absolutely horrified beyond belief. Vinccent had to rely on his adeptness as an actor of no emotion to keep from looking the same. This was what Cloud's death was doing to her? Tifa, so full of life, had tried to kill herself? He couldn't believe it. The last thing he needed was another person close to him dying. First Lucrecia and now her...  
  
It was no use to try and pretend any longer. Vincent's characteristic calm went down the drain-he was too worried about Tifa to bother trying to act restrained and reserved. Hejumped up from the chair, pushing it to one side, his uncharacteristic action causing the full attention of both Shera and Tifa to focus on him at once.  
  
" Cloud's death wasn't his fault, your fault..it wasn't anybody's fault except perhaps Sephiroth's. Killing yourself won't solve anything. I contemplated it for years before realizing as much."  
  
Touching ( and shocking) as it was that Vincent was actually admitting something about himself, especially something she was sure was tied to Lucrecia's death, Tifa still mentally wished she could beat Vincent over the head with a stick to knock some sense into him. Gods, she had never taken him for the melodramatic type, but he certainly was acting that way now.   
  
In Tifa's opinion, the old Vincent's face would have worn the same look upon hearing the news of Tifa jumping off a cliff as it would of if it heard she was getting married.. Vincent appeared to have been too busy wallowing in his past and misery to show emotions over anything else.   
  
So why was he bothering now? It was puzzling. Very puzzling. She had almost been murdered, and all Vincent could think was that she had inflicted this torment on herself?  
  
"Vincent..I didn't.."  
  
But it was too late. Vincent, emberassed of the extent of emotions he had portrayed and realizing he was afraid that he was once again letting a person get too close to his heart, was out the door before Tifa could get the whole sentence out of her mouth.  
  
  
Shera put her hand on Tifa's shoulder. "Don't mind him. We all are since Cloud's death, and I bet it's ten times worse for Vincent when he's already been through the death of one person close to him. It's why he has his barriers raised so high around all of us. He doesn't want anyone to get close enough for him to hurt so again. He's under alot of stress and pain. So are you. I think maybe it's best for you to get away for awhile. Go take a vacation somewhere, work things out for yourself."  
  
"But where would I go?" Tifa trailed off. Shera appeared to be thinking.   
  
"How about the Golden Saucer? It's the perfect place for you to relax a bit while having a good time."  
  
Shera didn't think Tifa was a complete suicide attempt case, she just thought Tifa needed a break. Tifa felt relieved. At least one person believed what she had to say.  
  
"Well..okay."  
  
"Good. You go get packing. I'll call up and make you some reservations at the hotel." Shera picked up the PHS to start dialing. Tifa was about to go out the door, when on second thought, she wheeled around and stuck her head back through its frame.  
  
"By the way, thanks."  
  
"No problem, dear."  
  
Shera spoke into the mouthpeice only after she was positive Tifa had left and was no longer within hearing distance. "Hello? Yes, I would like to ask if you have any vacancies in Corel prison right now? What crime did she do? Murder. Horribly bloody affair for me when I found out. Yes. Yes. An hour or so you say? Good. Thank you."  
  
  
****************  
  
  
Vincent came to see Tifa off at the train station in Wutai (a recently built modern addition to the somewhat old fashioned town) some hours later. She hadn't expected him to show up at all and told him so.  
  
"Vincent, I didn't really think you would show after what happened this morning."  
  
"I hoped you had forgotten it. I assure you it won't happen again." Vincent looked as if he was going back to being his usual unmoved by anything self, but then the tone of his voice changed. "That's not what I mean. Tifa. I'm sorry. I.." Vincent's mouth moved wordlessly as if he wanted to say something, but he couldn't.   
  
"I'll miss you." What made Tifa ventured to say such a thing, she had no clue. She knew it wasn't at all the words Vincent was thinking of, and would probably make him put up his guard against her more than ever, but she stated it anyway.  
  
"I'll miss you too. Tifa, you must know that.." Vincent turned his face away, not wanting to let Tifa see what he deemed his weakness written there. "I'll miss you too.." He couldn't seem to get out what he wanted to say. It was right then that it hit Tifa exactly what Vincent wanted to say and though she couldn't put words to such a thing any easier than he could, she could show it.   
  
And she did. Standing on her tippytoes, she kissed him full on the lips, her small hands on either side of his face before pulling away. Vincent staggered a few feet back from her, looking unsure..and frightened. Tifa had just broke down an icy wall inside him-one that he spent years making until it was a thing he was sure was indestructable. Vincent couldn't believe she had kissed him.   
  
Tifa couldn't either, her head was a whirlwind of emotions and confused thoughts..she didn't know what had possessed her, but it was over and done with now and that was that. Turning her back on him, she ran up the steps to the train two at a time, waving to him before she went through the door. He didn't wave back and she didn't expect him to, but he gave her a glance that was worth enough to let her know that when she came back to Wutai, alot of explaining would be in order.  
  
As Tifa watched him from a window as the train pulled away, she could tell Vincent was trying to communicate something with his eyes. Looking at him standing on the platform there as if rooted to the spot, she couldn't help thinking that he seemed more broken down and forlorn than she would ever be.   
  
*******  
A/N=Did you like it? Then please-oh pretty please- review! 


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